new

It's not fun to and it's never fun to be treated like garbage by people, or anyone. So don't let anyone try to hold back areas of your brightness in your life.
I am going to start a new blog and try to be more positive throughout it. Yet a new atmosphere and opportunity will be found to do that. So that this tremendous weight which was on my shoulders for far too long can be plausibly put aside in so that I can focus on my life and necessities. 
Most of the time I just wished to lash out and explain all of the ongoings. Yet to enter a new world completely. 
When you are left to yourself and just yourself, which a lot of people are, and they are the ones who really don't get a vantage point put to a pedestal or ableness to reach out, it feels very diminishing. Because it moves into things like commentary and world view and lyrics and song and all of that.
I'd been for the majority of what feels like as long as I can recall, trying to make a save for people outside of my own world, and not my actual own life, beingness and place of resources.
It is a test of faith like only those who know they cannot begin to explain it may feel and understand yet themselves not begin to explain either.

I'll try to find some actual peace and forward motion to move ahead.
And from there, a momentum of any kind to put into place not having to live
in this extreme tension and at times impossibly seeming of every single odd being against me.