Glad to have '22 over with

 There is only so much of a capacity of soul force or spirit to go around in the "host" of the flesh,"
and the more of the many does show why there is more of a chance to see walking husks. And their sour attitudes and hateful demeanors are explicit toward an increase that, because soul force, or spirit, or 'Vril" is that which cannot be spread out onto such an amount of breadth, you will find mass mass mass amount of population reset or population reduction found again and again, sold off as attractive or unique and something to aspire to.
The truth is scary because self-change is the equivalent of operating a new tool or a function. Of developing something that was not present before.  Rather than admissions, people will fight their way into death to serve the safety and tranquility of  never admit being wrong.

Little transumanists in the making.
Sour souls and heads full of rule-making for anybody but themselves of their masters-of-media.

Spiritual teachings have been hijacked by arrogant showpeople and stunted druggies and the gynocentric imbalance of ___vs____ teachings, rather than strict internal balance have made the shitshow you see before you.
No warning to mankind will be terse or bold enough because escapism is so intense, collectively.

It is silent work, more truthfully than ever, to aspire soul power or spirit or a life force that snaps out of the constant hypnosis and low energy draining tactic in which shows the masses very much are a "food" of sorts.

I look around at the increasing violence even in "heavenly" little towns, and the transplants that take it over, bringing their minds of disaster, drugs, incompetence, and massive larping as spiritual people, and they are drunkards, trend-riders, loud mouths with cult rules, and destroyers of gentle necessary energies.
They will make excuses for why it "is that way" before they
ever
see
that
they are the exact things they preach and imprint and scold about.

A stabbing on meadow street, home invasions, this, that, just fluff it off.  the world's shittiest graffiti slobs honing in.  Woke delusional sloppy thinkers with their badges of symbol reduction, pressed off the same machine again and again and again.

The spiritless demanding ways and rulesets for ceremonies they muddy up the processes of. 
They are 'hosts.'   Many are 'hosts.'
Not to some holy spirit or uplifting and clean process and powerful teaching resolve.
There always had been that, too, but it is politicized now.  
Since I have been robbed opportunity for a fair and equal playing field because of these transplants and these loud, blurry, obnoxious, stumbling and self-mismanaged riders of images and identity presentation,  there is little sympathy here. Little empathy here.
You are destroyers and also 'food' for your masters.
It lingers into extremes of imbalance. Your shows are a divide and conquer surge where you are the tools used to play it out. 
Simple skills to learn in life are avoided - mainstays of self sufficiency while you run cities and shit up industries, making low brain process and gut level energy games of follow the leader in which your idols and gods are hollywood dumbasses and blackmailed revolutionaries who divide and conquer ad-infinitum.  You may eat the scraps off their  bones if you are lucky enough but it is history all the same with expenditures of selfishness and you are just another cult all over again.

 

 I would be thankful if I could have a moment of peace in my life

 hey do you want to be a part of the music industry?
(do you want to be blackmailed into doing fucked up shit,
and be a slave immersed to lawyer words of a contractual agreement?)
Do you want to just nix generations into another cultural stigma?

 All the bands today suck dinosaur cock
Why do you suck dinosaur cock?

ra

 I'ma go take a nap for 50million  years

 

 

lomemarsupial emerald green glass lome marsupial

 update

busy life

here are demos that sound like
 

https://www.lomemarsupial.com/audio/mp3/temporary/temp_aud.html

and edited will sound as 

https://www.lomemarsupial.com/audio/alemeharot.html

Here's some listed as a vid file

A Leme Harot 

Chameleon Shelter 

Dance Like A Human(e)

Triangle 

Bit Ears Off  Your Rabbit Friend

Parads Sce Live 

and anyway if you would like to hear more recent songs and demos there are still some on these pages
https://www.lomemarsupial.com/audio/new_demos.html

 

 

I'm happy with River Safe, Billboard Dreams, Obscene Grey and Gobekli Tepi soundwise,
And have audio-plays/sound "operas"  and will hope to have enough conveyance of spirits and due justice of serving the intents of these sound atmospheres to represent the dream intent of them all.

Some raspy some smooth

have had so much going on in my life in ways that are so not fun but intending to direct creativies despite all oddities against-o-me.

 

 I wish world souls would heal. Let's be done with this damned cruelty. 
This world, peace or solace I find just deep in a nature. Wickedness stay parted from me.
The lethargic or sprinted discharged energies from strangers and their ill will or displaced hatreds, be done of it away from my being. 

 Ithaca is pretty much fucking done. Good idea to leave the place. Maybe  a decade ago.
Fuck this little up its own ass town.
This place is vile.

 Rapture:
Part of the path to absolution

In Robert Anton Wilson's (and Robert Shea's) Illuminatus Trilogy
one of the ongoing antagonists was the American Medical Association.

Satiation 609

 Pulitzers Prizes were shred up to fuel European heat in towns that once were warming centers.
A novice might walk in and see and find out and look at how nations are funded to destabilize upon themselves. By all those who work and live and are encentered in those nations. They pay for their own chess pieces to get knackered down.

I used to get punished by going and being put into in-school suspension, but it was to be locked into a room of silence and atmospheric peacefulness. A forray into a path of luddites and anti-social bends and crescendos. Sometimes other folks were there, too, serving moments and escaping inside of the larger place to wish to escape.  

So it wasn't really punishment, as what really was had been the gleamy eyed staredowns of wrought professionals who were carved stiff and stood there wooden, like a dull but persistent kind of carving blade made them into what they were.
If you don't accept being carved up into exact shapes as that, you must be gone off to not interact or to perhaps inspire self-changing.  But those who chose their own path end up where the rest are kicked out.
Then they find peaceful room and solitude to actually start thinking without the reprimands of doing it wrong. 

the 7 month idea

 Vitamin C and no more visits to nerve specialists. They're pulverizers & I'd like a consonant of healing. What blimey charades!

Anyway who could make skydiving look so easy? From always standing on the ground--
It's my duty to now and forward always listen to my mind and body. If a person becomes a pay check for the LOA of industry-healing, it's like your fed a little sugar every time, then when lured in, blammed by a mallot of new ailments to mouth feed and supplement, by state, for time and money and bodily investment.
Well I feel blathered from all of that. No specialists or experts, what a toss of it all. You hear giggling in the hallways and loud chatter and its from the workers themselves in medical center hallways. And you count your thoughts and sit in stillness, figuring when anesthesia ain't used in the process. Go on 4 months of the left side of your whole head coming and going with nerve bullshit, cantankerous from the first dentist's fuck up. It's okay, look at the bright side. If you pull through this one without that nerve damage crud, and learn and go on sooner without repeat returns to places that butcher and slog you up more and more, you wind up on the right side of getting out. Rebuilt into a better peace.
But man I'm not sure into this medical industry contemplation any more. I'm losing more sleep. My ear is ringing and banging. The ENT gathered up a camera on a wire, and thats the no anesthesia part. Reading after the visit on the typical shouldnt and precautions, seeing how many are and have been skipped in all of these common routines I'd been chairman to, well you hit the back of my throat and tonsil. Careless and mad in new york, medical transplants with acreages to pay. Teether the patient. Let's get em something to come back and return for. Walk out worse off than ya walked in. Cant you hire a hobo to punch ya in the gut and get all about the same? Days after Samhain, too, all of this. Well it brought me back to being laid out in bed and writing this. I erased some other writings when in some zone or mode. really hankering it out. Looking back, should have let them stay. But darker sarcasms. The intent behind them all is just fair play nutrition of existing. But the 'systems' keep trying to speed up their steam rollers and aim right freaking toward me. Walking in front of them voluntarily, however, such as my visit to the ENT, wasn't wise. Wasn't smart at all! I learned. Moment they said the dentist fuck up had nothing to do with my ear pain was when I should have walked out. Legal priorities of satiated contracted of social hospitality left a person to say "I'll see where this leads." Which is to here. More time taken away. More time trying to heal but with worse nerve pain now. Cayuga medical, yeah imagine if you tried to badmouth them, how many scholarly tanks would come soaring. Too big a name to jab at really, isn't it? Well them and tompkins dental could find better training and skillset and care for patients. If this is permanent nerve damage then I'm fucked. But nothing should be impossible for relevant healing. If its permanent nerve damage though, and its going to be 4+ months soon, I can at least be a voice for myself about the parties that allow slip ups. I'd rather write about other things. I'm rehabilitating animals. but also myself now because of this.

And have a keyboard to try to fun around with and program, which has acoustic based response for its keys and a sound chip that was supposed to be a step up from that one I'd really leaned on for atmospheric explorations for, well, near 17 years now. Just need to dip into the learning curve of its new track mode. Sort of play them one, program track, and again, then they're all layered and saved, only at the end with sound cues hit in for each instrument. Then streaming them straight into the program.. so that there is always a back up copy stored on the keyboard, and if levels "clip" then its okay. Just re-play it into the recording software at a lower level. No tragic loss of clipping. And can separate each instrument layer into its own track, just match the tail end sound cues up. But with drifting, maybe I have 200+ sound... no, 905+ being lenient, audio atmospheres that could have the drifting issue. Which means the percussion is off a small bludgeon.

Other instruments like air instruments of piano or this or that, theres a lot more room for error. Regardless, that's the system used for multi-layering tracks. And I just need to see how the keyboard with the newer system does that exact same intended process.

Maybe it even has more tracks to program, because the one I'm used to capped out at 6. But had been wonderful for what it was. And playing in that realm of keyboard atmospheres with "real enough" sounding backdrops, especially the Tabla drum, its just plain fun to build up scores to, or blueprints for organic instruments to layer atop of. But Im sitting here and my ear is pulsing again and I want it to go away. My opting to at the moment say "Go Ahead" and the dentist I never met before at the practice I had gone to for several years, went ahead. And that was the beginning of leading up to---this. The filling that didnt NEED to be replaced, was. And now, further pains from the dentist. And now.. the ENT visit jarred my throat up some and made the multi month nerve pulsing pissing me off pain more agitated and I get to be all miserable and further isolated, trying to do whatever I can just just think this will go away and I can get on from it. I leer away from professionals now. Good lord they terrify me. Good lord I could have just walked away from this but didnt know what would happen. We think things should go smooth with people who work intricate jobs dealing with human nerves. I dont know. I mean I feel a hospital offed my grandfather with ventilators and also "forgetting" to give him food (several times) so I am biased in ways, when experiencing it personally and also personally.

If I feel better and heal and can get onto other stuff I will hope I can look back and think I had learned a thing or two. And to always self-medicate, to not go looking for any hands on or touched upon me actions by anybody else at all at this point. The medical industries and the local branches of unprofessional procedures and attitudes and results of being damaged unto this shit will hopefully wisen me up, though obviously my cynicism will carry on like a blight light of high bright, the brightest lamp held firm for ages. I'll probably even become religious. So regardless, that is what I have been up to. Deep deadened eyes and this numbing actual frightening pain at my nerves.

Some more "character building" in this life experience it really seems. Yuh Angels of Mercy with softest hands, more caressing and less squeezing.

How bout for everyone, some better type of go?

I'm not watching Perry Mason on the psychic television

 It's good and fine open free space to wake up maybe around Nine'o'Clock PM.
My brain feels like the wolf man having licked a radio transducer and it shocked me into a kind of state,
just   to revert every aspect of life strictly back to analog.

Still reminded a dentist butchered my tooth and sitting here  putting analyzers on that gum ear nerve circuitry, seeing if it toppled down in pulsing jarring jamming sensation.
Still there but it feels a little less terse.
All these repair and help places, man, they send you back out more fucked up than you walked in. 
Astute in the medicine world or nerve centers, all these pros speed up the life process by adding extra whacks and jarring jabs and then shlocked up advice.  Keep me away from the 'pros', psychology and medicine and physiology and all for they're maniacal and careless bastards!

Had some dreams that didn't include shoving henry Kissinger over a row boat, but the last dream series did include some peaceful and expansive waterways with unmanned and natural private islands. But it only seemed like creek high or river low water routes. Some submerged place of memories I definitely remember going, like the Susquehanna. Probably the Susquehanna.
Yeah I think I am going to cancel my next dental appointment, frankly. Just writing this I feel a returning of that pulsing pain.  I aint going to become one of those medicine gobbling addict people so assume my mood or attitude is going to simply resolve this by being moreso irritable and outspoken in all affairs and visions.
If you wanna get damaged and deranged and foot a bill for it all then seek professional medical solvent in any common category. You'll be banged up and dented out and screwed up in no time!
I'll see if there's any better uploads of Marx Brothers movies and commit into some real actual healing and possibly try to work on stencil art designs while those play in a little more clear frame rate than I'm used to.   

Trying to keep from accumulating any more strings instruments now as I think I overspun the spinning machine and am spun up and wrapped up in that more than I can handle. But an acoustic bass to replace using the bass notes of acoustic or keyboard instruments as makeshift..  yeah okay watch me accumulate an acoustic electric bass. Do you really want car insurance pigeons to just continue to eat up every last cent or maybe county school tax to fill folks heads with saulalinskian ways of nuclear head deception. 
I will whiff and skim it on by and wonder about an acoustic electric bass then even if rock and roll is dead. because it puts far too many lively ideas into freethinker's minds.  you dont become a good enough mindslave listening to rock n roll and the new ingrained styles perpetuate classes that fight each other and drain'n'drug, you know.   
What's the price off the chopping block then,  I mean what's the drainage for string replacement for a bass then?  How can you skirt the edges of keeping a set of strings pushing useability without--- see, no, I think I'd better just do what I have been with keys playing as a bass sound or overlaying guitars to do so.  One more chore or thing to take care of, what's there to do with stuff, all this world of material objects and their elemental makeup.  Oil dropping computer fans with sewing machine oil, this, that.  Throw it all into the sea!  Let it gather with the countless Henry Kissingers out there all flailing their arms away.    Obviously, in the myriad of it all between getting sucked to up to your eyeballs with mystery fees in this life, a true  telling sign to accumulate an acoustic electric bass guitar.
And figure it all out on the way.
The only real solution is likely to stare at this 11 PM hour and dress accordingly for weather which coats these leaves with a cold chipping crisp with crystal dew and all that. And to get out and just run through the forest lands. And connect with that periphery of a wolf man ideology. And get the sternum kicked up to a satisfying rotation and let inner body heat and internal warmth coexist with the frigid outdoor environment.

Migraine Headaches and an Armageddon that Takes Forever

 Ehh another person was stabbed to death in Ithaca.
Shit I had someone tell me they'd shoot my face off some months back. That was silly.
Nice ol atmosphere in these counties any more.

Have put it off several weeks of getting a taller saddle installed into a dreadnought.
Why do I keep putting that off? Need the magic touch to do it right. And I never had added a taller one before, to avoid that buzz  buzz buzzing. But I'd went and intoned before, electrics. And shaved some saddles down.  So I shouldn't be that frantic about all of this.
A head full of good rest and restoration is that key tone really.
I reached out to several places to play and got a good fuck over of no response. I don't know sometimes.
Somethings in my soul and its receptors damn well don't feel that the area here is for much of a place to get any seedling grown well enough before its like ripped up and pawned to someplace or some maniacal random factor or possibly some grievous and forlorn secretary tries to doom what is an innocent but powerful vantage point to live my own fucking way.

needless, I traded an old one in to compensate for the D'angelico because something plays so smooth with those instruments. But damn if they aren't made for jazz style and I like to whiff and go harder with my thumb or strums.
Because I don't techinically know how to play and never will but will try to keep up with what the moment introduces. 

I never thouht I'd like those instruments, either, that D'angelico produces. They werent on my radar at all. But its all pristine with the gear they put in, bone nuts and saddles and tuners that dont have to be swapped out.  The Gretsch electric I got... its okay for the style it's ought for but I already feel at a loss, again, in hesitance, that its not pushing out those truer senses. the tuners blow on it but it has P90s in the semi hollow which makes it pretty adapt to doing something a little different with.  Less acoustic amplifiers I guess and seeing what I can do to push it through a tube sound.  With some grit.
But I have some rotomatic tuners in each of the D'angelicos.. the acoustic and electric. and they seem perfectly home in the ability to just push and flow through some enjoyable ability to feel catharsis in playing. 
Just, man, they're dept to such low low low action. I'd rather it be like what the Epiphone Super Jumbo is shipped and installed with having. Enough to run a slide down without any traps of buzz or clanking of fret whamming.
So I'll figure the saddle adjustment out. If I could recondition myself to play different, just using a pick and nothing else, it goes well for that.. lead work I guess.  But I want to continue to play how I had been. I guess I'm a frustrative and specific sort.

So anyhow things havent been going well in life lately, in general, but tough fucking shit. I'll earn my chin stubble or whatever.   I havent put anything out at all and felt demoralized to all shit too just looking around lately. Being said also, not hearing a whisper back from places reaching out to place, well I've got one for you too you nepotistic blowhards.. because shit, I just wish to do what I do. Im not cantankering any damned regime behind me.  I just have stuff I do. I'd like to share it, play it, put it out. But this county in general, its just dead and cold, forlorn, fucking nepotistic like I said, and it seems like cold souls are there in the sharp fingertips of every pissy deskperson or money collector. Is life sincerely just insurance agents gathered to suck money out of your person and then getting lectured constantly by people ya've never met about some shit that you never did in the first place? 
Well bite the piss if that's so.

I took in lots of strats yet again and long story short some have been going lost when they choose to leave, en group, and some come back and some do not.   
People just drop more and more and more off all the time around here. Because its a farm or rural outskirt, and they just think think think people can afford to take them in but thats not true at all.

Im veriably antisocial lately and also bit through some chank of stophard steel.  I learned the hard way with good intent but now Im unsure of my good intent remains. 
Never be too sure you were young enough to have gotten all of your tests and trials out of the way because thats not how it is. Not at all. Your faith will be tested to a point of being shoved in right to the damned sharks but the foot kick comes from those you thought were the closest sometimes. Makes you question the hours upon hours of waiting around or sticking your neck out.
So expect some melodies of madness and possibly deeper grit if I choose to express anything outward again. Being pretty much shadowbanned is icing on the cake, still.  Fuck off, too, woke maroons. I stand put. Always wanted to just do my own thing. Tired of the stab deaths, the druggie kamikazes, the death thrall of people who just sell one another out.
So I'll load in The Seventh Samurai yet again and watch that in close captions, or stuff my head with Paul Newman movies or something or listen to some old songs.
My desolation is robbing me of opportunities. But in this county, at least, when seeking opportunities, its just woke judgmental shit. Im singing my songs I do, depicting images I want to depict, because I aint a part of Cult A or Cult B or whatever selective damned cult people will look back at and regret immensely if they go within and check themselves out, reassess their receptors, because I wanna do my own thing, its like, lets cut this fucker out.   Cool, I'll remember it. deeply.
I'll just need about 50 cups of coffee it seems like.
I just paid to keep my website up again. I put  a lot of really old stuff up on spotify. Have to connect the accounts to see what people even get for spotify but im sure its fractions of pennies. Feeling like sounds have changed a lot since then. Will upload even earlier stuff, too, buts its "reckless reclusion' and--- maybe Top Pop Classics of the Astral Realm' but I have to change some lyrics around.
Which means slitching back in and over writing a word or two. 
I realized hectically and heavily that the whole "goddess" idea incorporated into a lot of songs, maybe 2009-2011, it was a big shclock.  So I have to change some of those lyrics around, and forray more of a dialectic of internal integrity, because the universal misbalance, presently, of nature truth and material interpretation is at a wholly damaging point of people preaching "truths" they have uttered via misguidance.  Even though the tattoos on their eyebrows stating it will be inducted forever.   

I take care of animals lately. And plants. And those are fine feelings. There's a few people left really to hone into feeling like its all worth it and good things can still be plausible.  Given to notice how much the press and media is just stomped down right now, however, finding celebration and inspiration would be vivid. But demoralization is, I think, a billion dollar industry, so if you see something you yourself could never dream up or produce, throw soup on it?

You were vomited onto earth

 

 

 

The Earth is poison now.
It is best to not incarnate again onto this "Earth Plane" after this cycle.
Beasts and savages and snake-oil people will control the majority soon.

First of all I need to get the fuck out of New York.
It is unnavigable. It is corrupt past repair and no poetic spree can get into how damaged and unsalvageable it is. 

It's not fun or amusing playing the 'neighborhood curiosity' role anymore split between the college rich and splintered wall between the doped up and violent. 
Some sheath will sog and split to a point where there isn't a severing between both.

The friends here aren't real. They don't have their back 
To want to do anything has been tough. There's no leverage or 'grip' to really take anything and move with it. 
All the transplants are now crime opportunists or just filthy fucking loaded on money. The latter don't have a radar for the humor or style built in that maybe rougher kinds of reference point out. 
They're lost and addled.  On a counteract that leads me lost and directionless because nothing can breathe in to a new function or new format.  
So I have to change or alter my expression to match the local demand, but wouldn't ever do that.

The lack of friends being there other than some smarmy intellectual-bent in-theory psychology bullshit rather than being a man or friend or brother caused a bit of some damage. But defeatism isn't a good definer.  
I'm still pumped in some way with ideas and all. But this place is done, It's shit. And people won't lock in and look and admit the big change in scenery, how corrupt this place is now.
There's no real flame of heart here anymore, just more rip off professionals.
Everyone's bringing their corrupt ways here, too, ontop of this damaged framework already.
Making demands for everybody to change like them.  It's both gentrified and a multitude of idiot's gang turf all at the same time.
I'm not harboring screwing up my own life due to responding to some creature's ill infused random death threats taking a photo of a flier at the state theatre.   

People's brains seem like toast, now, too.  
The collective' haziness' of a kind of mind controlled populace nudges further from reaches to elders or ingenuity. Elders today wear adidas sneakers and have a mini fire inside of some fan fiction and Warner Music Catalogue re-telling of media instilment. 
God Damn New York to hell because it is an epicenter of that handful of states up to the brim with so many anti-life types.
They grew wet from rules and this growing 'Banana Republic' of a nation has gapped away people like myself away from certain gruesometypes who present themselves in paper shadows.

So "Thoth", or the crane bird's neck is damaged and split and torn.
My friends were little pussies who when things get hard for others, but is fine for themselves,
they didn't give a damn. 

There's no better place to walk around feeling lost or where established and playful, good and moving ideas can be born than this ugly and dead little fucking city.  For collegiate and intellectuals and such a college based group, or the 'down to earth' types they seem as soulless, unbefriending and ugly at the heart as everything their banners make such a broad depth of imprint to fly against. 

 

And it is a "believe women" world disregarding that there are offsets there, imbalanced and malevolent people who think it is aright to take their frustrations and aim them onto those who just wish to nevermind that kind of pull of a so constantly dramatic world.

The entire "I am justified to this" mentality that swarms in manipulative people with little good in their hearts.  Inconsiderate and so full of themselves, hiding their own Mr or Ms Hyde within. 

You have to wonder, about these sorts, who is lying to gain attention, excitement or some prospect to fill an entire void within their own lives.

It's best to not really go anywhere alone with the modern "womXn" who you do not know or think you know after only just having met. Have someone you trust along during any situation. This cancellation world, drama addiction world and believe any heresy kind of social environment insists that bitter people with untrained hearts and loose morals may try in their ways to, again stating, take both a dislike of themselves or of you for whatever reason, and keep you from a fair life.

It's something I'd skipped over considering for a while.  Integrating that. But realizing its reality as of late, to the sort of skittish and narcissistic behaviors of these great "empowerment" movements, I see very little of improvement movements being any sort of harness alongside it at all.

The vast amounts of ego impulse and attention craving that can occur is creating very weak and needy men and attention-craving and behemoth onslaughts of women.

The temperament and patience of either is splitting this ability for people to leave their mental houses of self-superiority and their own lies do not negotiate with any strings of a kind of truth that feels they need to elevate themselves and their actions by becoming good human beings.

Lethargy and sedentary acts incorporate into "I am good enough already, with haste to change" and the kind of ugliness and beastly behavior that is blossoming from this displays an inversion of beauty itself.

I had someone recently come to realizing they do not like me very well. And had also realized they were batshit insan. Posting about "karma" and taking the media indoctrinated stance of some sort of sex war, the battle of genders, mush-minded hijacks of feminist anger and the 'sway of the moment' personality glitches that anything is acceptable should the sway of emotion be the guiding force.

It is very stupid.  Many people are increasingly stupid today because they, as may have always been, guide by emotion first. Yet the sticky tape is the electronic facility of social media and the ableness to see that a hook of conquest is drama and more importantly to the addiction of it all: attention.

My mind is soured by most of today's world of constant dopamine hits of drama and peoples dying minds of leading others into nowhereland regarding attention-seeking and having high pedestals of materialistic lust.

I think many women today are extremely sensitive to the point of replacing it with this image of some sort of warrior goddess larp of power and the men who feed them attention or also chase down each fad of probable brain loss create a kind of cycle of brining the worst out for not challenging others or themselves in the best of ways.

Behemoths walk the Earth and you have to at times worry about them because today's levels of guard and check for right and wrong have no actual positions for future thinking or repercussion.

The arrogance is ugly and the style is dystopian. The earnesty and loyality is grossly out of whack.

The mode of expectation and standard had been lowered, and any quest or reason to produce anything of quality has been stifled out.

I think people today are more oft demented and full of shit and the obsession of attention-attracting so as to be seen as off the cuff or different from one another has created a very inorganic kind of populace of walking facades and people who will not ruin even just others, but also themselves, to be a part of whatever next "thing" or "narrative" there may be and it has ruined good and honest communication and also turned people into some of the most stuck up sorts. It is very trashy and soulless, and disregards its effects.

People are becoming dangerously dumb and encouraged to do so; or not reprimanded enough for blindly following the rest of the crowd unto whatever kind of war or injustice lives within their own head, then onward to take it out on whatever visage they see that serves an example of similarity so as to vindicate their anxiety-ridden warrior role.

Any steadfast thinker looking back from their vantage point to today's placement in history will see a certain civilization in psychosis. And a world impaired by having too much information access to know what to do with it. With the quest for individuation being so overwhelming that people become unbareablely inconvenienced to seeing their had been in so many ways co-opted into destroying themselves. Or ruining quality communications to seeing similarities rather than divisions.

Most say to turn the other cheek, but as human beings and businesses are destroyed, and people even have haste and hatred to their own tribes, family members and so on, through political cults and state-of-the-moment 'movements' led by psychological facilities, it is my view that turn the other cheek seems ill fated and that these people who ruin lives would be struck down, or replaced, or brought to the light.

Because many fine intentions and ways of being raw and truthful about this all, the psychological manipulation and entire industries on keeping dopes emotionally led on, so they can play heroes in their own minds while jeopardizing the lives of others, is irredeemable. And wishing turn the other cheek can lead it to let some higher source be the judge, if that is their style. 

Yet in real life and real flesh, I would consider it to be better for those watching humanity becoming so ugly and brute and narcissistic, those who study how the emotional levels of the situation triggering unwise actions and responses, to be a little moreso tough against all of this.

Not only are the shortcuts of what is put in to produce food warping peoples endocrine systems and poisoning their brains, but this fear of backlash to be under the crosshairs of the virtuous 'woke' makes this ghost-game of dancing between hard lines, and a permanent eligibility to always be 'in the wrong' to this new religion of a kind of rule set where the rules are always changing. If you then disturb the emotions of these self-enacted dictators who are more authoritarian than their icons of revolution could ever dream, their own inner little ugly demons jump out and they get to try to stifle somebody else rather than advance their own ways to "get centered", and so many other co-opted phrases from yoga and new age movements and this or that.

  

 The world elites
are soulless dorks.
It's a catch-22

 it's a revelation of seeing who was ultimately maneuverable by the slightest wind of fear programming.
Like that you can never look at some people the same again, ever

 pointing out the  hypocrisies will never achieve anything, because they do not care about coherent principles.

they could not give less of a shit if you accuse them of it, the only thing that matters is that you keep sticking to your principles religiously and thus give them an easy attack vector for exploiting you.
it's not that they don't see/know the truth, it's that they don't care about truth. 

 I think I just ran myself outta town
but then again "new" strangers randomly said
some violent shit to me. But that whole street is like that
all the time now.
People that dont go there won't get sick of it,
but will also be the first to say that its all the same,
and that it aint that bad.

Iunno. I played sweetheart of morals and never minded it.
But 3+ people get stabbed there now at least every 1 1/2 weeks.

I dont want my life shortened because of some complete moron.

I feel like Charlton Heston. 

wildkats at the front steps

 

 people traded civilization for this

Jason Becker - Hold On To Love

 

 Force a population to sterilize and exterminate itself and they will resist.

Brainwash a population into sterilizing and exterminating itself and they do it for free!
well anyhow

venezuela

soviet union

cuba

some ham beans

 

Something to Offer

 

 

The beginning of a brand new show

 Prefer to work with my Muse (fully) again. The political pandering
and maintenance ongoing of the world, with content rights,  so much commotion,
I just wish to delve in to what the creative forces offer.
Raw and with wildness or subtle and soft, or of anything beyond a buffer to the 
electric pulse.
People can be awful and people can be amazing.
I was raised by the moon and the sun until my grandparents died.
My dad knew to get away from the ultradrunk.   Some people have siblings but there are no brothers to call on and sister mercy is tying up suitors with bandanas it seems.

you go through many incarnations of life in a single lifetime. Even when life ends I'm sure it seems as just another continuation. ("Oh, I'm back on the elevator again, and this is the waiting song.")
Then what? Step off, onto another floor.



You have to give it all up, let it all go
to move on.
I can't raise you any more, all the problems you keep.

Well the muse is the only thing to get me out of this repetitive cycle 
one that no one else could ever understand yet every single person
can relate, just not in the exact same way but almost in common enough contemplations.

I have to use my brain or soul or something to get me out of this imitation hell.

Muses used to come in the formation of people but they'd sod sold off for material gain and things I can't say for it doesn't sound nice and I'm the politest of politest. 
but I'm holding on dead or something.
the world lessons seem boring now

and everyone knows the script too well, or sometimes it seems everyone does.
You fill your commentary of insight into the adaptions of all others,
and their antennae or rhythm zones of the next mass of sentience reaching. How many will grab? how many will pursue? Get those suckers out of purgatory --- no, they just think it's regular life.

I want a better world but it's up to me.

do it widespread or secretly.
The World's your Mind or God and you're its,  but there's all that commotion shit in the way of peace,
car fuck ups and human deaths, science exploitations and hollywood cults you name it
Jesus man did I sign up for this shit
let's trust somebody,
no that one, yes, ahhh, some rip offs how guessable,
no, go to the shore, be unfound, some peace for a while,
no gossip,  American poetry, something to casualize.  The people can handle it for a while,
me I'm on break, don't call my name you know, for a steady, steady long while.

 

 Today's fathers day and my dad is not on  planet earth any more.
I'm not going to be negative or none of that.
I just am going to continue to do what I have been and yet
hopefully so in a more positive light each and every day.
 I will still be honest about my perceptions on this world
and also the views of this apparatus called self in which sees it,
and which parts of that might be better to update as well.
But I do not reach out often because my arms and hands have been bitten by sharp things,
or there were hands said to help and then gone when learning
you always pull your self up
and pull your own self up
and even if there are hands (or teeth) around
you still by habit pull your own self up any how,
by function of safety and that it really is
eye for an eye

and tooth for a tooth
anymore in this world.

I'd like to make more cute humored things or playful expressions,
but a house is not always a home,
and sometimes, even, intensities expressed can be soothing or healing
for those that had that kind of learning process.
It ain't the easy road but you can stay in shape and stay active,
and what's been a thing a million times, intense to somebody else,
is just another day for ya.

I'd like it to be easier but it's Hermes that has to tread through Hells,
on and on, comparing the hot and cold.

have a great week

 

lucky favors

 

 

you must be mad about it, but I'm still alive. digging through folders finding pieces to merge sounds atop. Here's one. All the OCD and life's ongoings, and music distribution calamity kept it all a-heck. Will make this into a little intermission piece prolly. I like to create, I do not like to socialize! and I like nature. And feel animals communicate in miraculous ways. Three truths finally

 

 

 

Pt I the husks of a crucial dammit machine

 Possibly selling a motorbike.
No description listed. 
If you wish to buy it for $2,300, let me know.
Offers only accepted until the end of this month, though,
will otherwise just take those grueling steps to make it run diligently.

Next steps:
wait a second, they want musicians and artists t.....
no that is another psychological rant.
If you study the sequences of many of these rants, they
follow the same trajectory in an exactness that may just drive you wild,
or really heat up your oil. (and how!)
It came to me that I'd been writing the same exact rant with new spices
and flavors ever since the 1990s which was already 500 years ago.
and here I am doing it all again right now. 

If you come out the other side of it with an increase of massive anxiety,
or perhaps a liberated conscience (for as comparing it to mine with
such an upheaval of the most deeply entrenched feelings of sour guilt
and self-derived overplanning) then you owe yourself a contribution
to funding my earth extraction space progra----
well no,  

I have this sentence of living on a planet
sitting beside many broken in shoes
and scattered notebooks.
The subversion is too fierce for many to ever handle
and it had even taken me down several times
but I get up at the oddest of hours, you see?
I see romance and heartfelt is dead on this planet.
You need a good motor of honest, up to no good daring,
but the eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth, 
when you realize the potential of your career has billion dollar industries
fighting against it,
and  they want the artist or creators today to be able to get along to go along,
well that ain't gonna cut it, bud!

There are thoughts in people's minds right now that could change and benefit the world but you have to hire some faction of some of the DOOFIEST damned e-celebs or hamfisted, selectively picked... no, no. But I had a phrase right here on deck to type away.  Then a wild animal beside me decided to start going and moving in all directions, splaying attention all out of me.
But if I try to redirect (I am censored and essentially spleened on things like Facebook and Instagram by the way.  The algorithms are punk ass bitches, you might say. You get burned forever if your subsversive humor that MEANS well doesn't translate so some uppity ultra woke censors can flag you and demote the ability to transfer thought, expression and idea.  Hey nice new religion. Nice cult. Nice self suffocated schematic of a machine that expunges and presses out the 'uniqueness' of not being able to have casual conversations of lighthearted affairs of being a human on a planet Earth. That is why after they ban all others who are merely in the room (me) the blatant need to be a victim and to shut out all alterior thought will lead further to such fXlks devouring one another! and it will happen. I know me self-referencing Tom Sawyerian charm and self-analytical professionalism might throw you off or not feign such doubt on this matter. but touchy authoritarians who lambast at being anti-authoritarian are the reason unto much that such "extremism" of thought is growingly commonplace. People who just wish to live and love and do their own darned thing ask simple question,  and frankly my dear, you are now ultrabanned.)   

and aside from that. What else do you need to know?  There are a few goals.  The mullen is able to be harvested around here.  I am gleeful about some tobacco growth for a newborn season of this particular plant. I had made offer to trade some mint leaves to someone who spoke of have many seeds for possible growth, of plants that I am not even sure of but would find excitement in later identification.

The thought on the mercy-shoulder, actually, that nearly left me, was:

Those who are tortured on earth feeling vacated by a sense of earnesty in the arts,
may well produce something along the lines of authenticity and yet also a mental apparition of extreme unease to the walking public.
It takes the ability to feel torture, in that a realization of what earth could be versus what we are stuck in, doesn't mind the potential and seemingly pointless task of beginning to even express it at all.

An heirloom of hope is the affectionate, supporting lover, or the encouraging apparatus of a human being.  Such may lift you out of a ditch if they see you half dead. Or lift a flower to the sky without shooting it into smithereens for some new fangled music video which also includes ASSES CRIME and DETORIATED LOBES.   
It's to be done with style, slow drawl and an accentuation in which the market value cannot wade even gently in as due to the obsessive flood  that products today and merely digital and not hands on.  
Again, I recognize your suspicion of my state of mind in general. But if you piece through some of this roasting upon my very engagement in all subjects, aimed at me by me, you'll find serious consideration of the psychological and emotional state of a planet that knows the reigns of 'hope' itself is as much of a joke or subversion that I'm using as a safety net but also a tool.

If it's any sleuth of use, I would transfer over more hope during each one of these writings.
I've been off the walls but also not as intense as possibly accused. Moreso just peering into all of this, watching the manias of the manies, and going personally through things where I should be a lot more damned cynical, absolutely, or should have given up or dropped mostly all of this (creations, expression) by far some time ago.  Oh boo hoo poor me, et all.
"It's not our fault you were born at the wrong time." or something like that.
There are excuses hidden in those statement!
and you can't go waiting around for other people, for affairs of scenarios for the rest of the eye for an eye world to save you, or, and this is sad, to even lend a hand. Hell, people remember things like that.

It's just so easy to get lost in this sweep of social media mass hallucination (and I believe that is what it is when brining on the brunt of projectionism) and where some good momentum for hands on projects could be found and made, a huge statistic of people are trying to find company or company in idea and project by jumping onto these damned machines. The magic of activity and the magic of even daring to stare failure in the face and say "off the horse!,"
or more appropriately, "give me your tax dollars, personal enemy!" and beginning something. 
Organic, I mean. With heart.  Billion dollars industries will sniff you out real damned quick, though.
But that's okay.

 

 Come gather round,
all my prospects of afterward-insight did rejoice to consider. But only after the fact that complaining hastily into some void of a blog wasn't an all too well ventured kind of theatre attraction.   
What a transparent window.  But it didn't do a heap of good in such a sprawling mess of unsorted thought just garbling everywhere.  With the vomitous charm of mystical sparkle and led painted forrays over some naked, vicious figure dancer who can't sit still to even have a jump suit painted on.

It's no easy business, however, the hard way.
The easy way, though, just invites the latter (the hard way)
and the middle way, that's some way where I'd been told before
"oh, walk down the middle of the highway!")
well maybe the center of the trail was what had been referred.

Yeah and this handwritten doctrine of calamity to be able to hold up and refer to doesn't sort it out right up into the eyes of the law or even the common (and of course very innocent and well behaved!) citizen.  

1. If there's trouble all around, why the hell should you pay to know about it?
2. if I join the alternative thinking society, and I'm booted out (from plenty) in every first 30 seconds or less, and by the sixth time when not even meaning to join or be a part of just actually when asking for a sewing pin and piece of fabric to fix a wingspin on a borrowed hangglider apparatus, does it become too much of a damper to repeated public recourse?
3. I never want to deal with music distributors again. Not personally. Not directly.
It was an entry level horror scene really. Yet I have to deal again, soon, just to have them clear some extreme malpractice scenarios up.  If I am The Devil, as public advertisement campaigns do heroically epitomize, wouldn't I have a much snappier conduction to taking over the airwaves??
4. continuing from 3: my possibilities of legal issues regarding such, and the dire experimental approach when in tougher times, leads to a despondent annoying one would ever even pick a distributor known as magroove to think it would have done any good.
Yet they'd left countless accounts in a particular purgatory state.  I can't not recommend them hardly enough but before risking litigation and such of the harshest verbal burns on history's record, absolutely beyond--well, no it is not slander.  Just with recorded proofs of their carelessness and "lead you on for years about correcting this problem" you still find your content being claimed against you and property rights stolen.
So to music legal representatives I go, hopping along.
With the breath and enthusiasms of music release and project ongoings being effected.
It is a bloodied containment of water with dunce sharks clammering about.

5. There are multiple aliases for multiple projects. 
State identity itself is the least of authentic.
Even symbol or an etching could, and would be better off,
as a representation of one's actions and the performance of living in a body vehicle,
performing things, fighting off dying, promoting living, surviving being thrown away from the public mind and yet adventuring in the metaphoric internal compound without being typecast no matter what you do.
Ultimate freedom is what the _____ fears most, and this is not known until seen upon the look of _____'s face when confronted with that in which one speaks for or idealizes. 
6. I am not legibly autistic enough so as to receive state recognition. so any successes i must donate the credit to someone else's fancy and any failures to uphold the participation of collective civilized code I must be tarnished as irreprehensible and chalk such phrases into a system of nomenclature countless time.

A sparrow

 I'm not reading back to those other posts.  Not at all. There's claim to the moment, ideological parousal, some hints of the most intrepid  satire as through watching the world with a sobered and sane viewfinder.
It's just I can't imagine an entire life from birth to ashes being under the radar gun really of social media sticky tape.
It's more than peer pressure to become a belonger, in that sense. Especially as an extremist belonger, or one that has to stick out or stand out, and then the real merit of authenticity.  While things could be built otherwise. Behind the scenes compositions of bones, blueprints, and all the work nobody really does volunteer for.
No haste to deny making posture and after posture, letting the money reel on in!
Me, I am a celebrity! Take note by my sour attitude and demanding character!

Very much like wrestling unto the heel and babyface roles. It's fun to secretly build a kinder human existence, then run with the jolly of being a heel or to be the ol ever needed enemy.
I think of Aztec Bloodlust and other things. I realize historical timeout deadzones are there where if it's been long enough of a while or if it doesn't gain enough traction of classroom brain manipulation, aka rigors of instillment and indoctrination, then even when historical clause uncovers world event modification, if it isn't advertised loud enough, it isn't true.  The loudest wins. Truth is for hard workers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And so a sparrow has been following as of late. Trying to get into the house windows. Trying to get into my vehicle. 
It knows its reflection. 
I tell it of the troubles in possibility for having known association to me!
but its love or dedication holds strong enough to nevermind such and still,
in instillment or imprint, stick around anyhow.

that's more than a heap or overshot in relation to human counterparts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In music things  I haven't done a thing.
I'm bugging folks with guitar questions. 
Working to upload old galleries and post them up for previous events photojournalism.
But the worth isn't there for a lot of it.   I'm not lying about stuff to increase interest,
or making any of it political or this or that. Grew out of that and honed a responsibility for
personal reality creation or whathaveyou.  Working on the self but silently because uproars are created when projections are leveled out. Projection as in a sort of atomic supplement program, where the 'Cube of Space' as inherited into the meat and bones of the Tarot studies reveals something beyond this whole damned charade of human civilization and existence nodes in concept creation.
Life and death, fear and love, that annoying and joyous momentum of energetic imprint and a "space" between thought where definition itself is re-routable. Until you need to eat, breathe, live, survive and built a project so much the house of the soul can survive.
I am not swayed!
By what people say!
It is what they do!
What they prove!
Talk is talk!
Talk is not even cheap, anymore, however. Even talk is inflated!
Full of air, I mean!
I say that with a kind of love that would be electrocuted by community vote. Unless it wore the right banner and sheath of inner frustration and sufferment externally espoused and absolutely painted as some sort of righteousness bloodlust.
Today's new religion denounces being such!  And the bloodlust is therein as vital, harsh and with sharp fang, as always, under words that sound so sweet and promising!
Make quiet, big changes, I suppose,
If you are serious about soul work,
and silencing the mental chatter,
and the terrifically broken and damaged kinds of personality crisis that is bred into being today.

Physical fitness
Mental Study
Artistic Output
Self acknowledgement of what excuses are no longer useful,
some of the most troublesome and hated theories and actions
to not make a buck or even a dollar
by outputting haste as a collective gathering point.

It is a mass and masses are... biologically,
you tread the path of those who had done it in the past, and made proof.
Talk is talk is talk is talk is talk.
See to make a life of magic a reality,
Miracles,
the suffering masses hate to hear of miracles!
I stood by side unto those who call me devil today,
Why?
So I can laugh later on? Probably.
But views change, honesties still hide so deep within even "truth sayers."

People had to make a trial to become old, first, before knowing it all.
Well we have living experts and sages, especially in the corporate yoga business,
and especially in the humanities, who without a doubt know for sure!
And they'll sure as hell let you know! They let me know,
how I'm the... ummmm, enemy.  They'll starve later on and reality will crack
where life change is required, so it's an interesting timeline as always.
And I just do my own thing, still. I'm trying to pay attention,
to be fair, without sharp teeth potruded and also doing 'tick checks'
out in these forests of information.
When my total soul shows, however, if you do it with heart in this world of charks, sharks,
lepers, ticks, then what room is there for the angels to convene? or the Genius Loci, the Shepards of Good truth, they are found at flea markets or up in trees.
Why are they up in trees?
Well hell, they are trying to get away from it too.

You do it though. Be the one to go out and 'save humanity.'
The business side of it. That's not mud!