Ehh another person was stabbed to death in Ithaca.
Shit I had someone tell me they'd shoot my face off some months back. That was silly.
Nice ol atmosphere in these counties any more.
Have put it off several weeks of getting a taller saddle installed into a dreadnought.
Why do I keep putting that off? Need the magic touch to do it right. And I never had added a taller one before, to avoid that buzz buzz buzzing. But I'd went and intoned before, electrics. And shaved some saddles down. So I shouldn't be that frantic about all of this.
A head full of good rest and restoration is that key tone really.
I reached out to several places to play and got a good fuck over of no response. I don't know sometimes.
Somethings in my soul and its receptors damn well don't feel that the area here is for much of a place to get any seedling grown well enough before its like ripped up and pawned to someplace or some maniacal random factor or possibly some grievous and forlorn secretary tries to doom what is an innocent but powerful vantage point to live my own fucking way.
needless, I traded an old one in to compensate for the D'angelico because something plays so smooth with those instruments. But damn if they aren't made for jazz style and I like to whiff and go harder with my thumb or strums.
Because I don't techinically know how to play and never will but will try to keep up with what the moment introduces.
I never thouht I'd like those instruments, either, that D'angelico produces. They werent on my radar at all. But its all pristine with the gear they put in, bone nuts and saddles and tuners that dont have to be swapped out. The Gretsch electric I got... its okay for the style it's ought for but I already feel at a loss, again, in hesitance, that its not pushing out those truer senses. the tuners blow on it but it has P90s in the semi hollow which makes it pretty adapt to doing something a little different with. Less acoustic amplifiers I guess and seeing what I can do to push it through a tube sound. With some grit.
But I have some rotomatic tuners in each of the D'angelicos.. the acoustic and electric. and they seem perfectly home in the ability to just push and flow through some enjoyable ability to feel catharsis in playing.
Just, man, they're dept to such low low low action. I'd rather it be like what the Epiphone Super Jumbo is shipped and installed with having. Enough to run a slide down without any traps of buzz or clanking of fret whamming.
So I'll figure the saddle adjustment out. If I could recondition myself to play different, just using a pick and nothing else, it goes well for that.. lead work I guess. But I want to continue to play how I had been. I guess I'm a frustrative and specific sort.
So anyhow things havent been going well in life lately, in general, but tough fucking shit. I'll earn my chin stubble or whatever. I havent put anything out at all and felt demoralized to all shit too just looking around lately. Being said also, not hearing a whisper back from places reaching out to place, well I've got one for you too you nepotistic blowhards.. because shit, I just wish to do what I do. Im not cantankering any damned regime behind me. I just have stuff I do. I'd like to share it, play it, put it out. But this county in general, its just dead and cold, forlorn, fucking nepotistic like I said, and it seems like cold souls are there in the sharp fingertips of every pissy deskperson or money collector. Is life sincerely just insurance agents gathered to suck money out of your person and then getting lectured constantly by people ya've never met about some shit that you never did in the first place?
Well bite the piss if that's so.
I took in lots of strats yet again and long story short some have been going lost when they choose to leave, en group, and some come back and some do not.
People just drop more and more and more off all the time around here. Because its a farm or rural outskirt, and they just think think think people can afford to take them in but thats not true at all.
Im veriably antisocial lately and also bit through some chank of stophard steel. I learned the hard way with good intent but now Im unsure of my good intent remains.
Never be too sure you were young enough to have gotten all of your tests and trials out of the way because thats not how it is. Not at all. Your faith will be tested to a point of being shoved in right to the damned sharks but the foot kick comes from those you thought were the closest sometimes. Makes you question the hours upon hours of waiting around or sticking your neck out.
So expect some melodies of madness and possibly deeper grit if I choose to express anything outward again. Being pretty much shadowbanned is icing on the cake, still. Fuck off, too, woke maroons. I stand put. Always wanted to just do my own thing. Tired of the stab deaths, the druggie kamikazes, the death thrall of people who just sell one another out.
So I'll load in The Seventh Samurai yet again and watch that in close captions, or stuff my head with Paul Newman movies or something or listen to some old songs.
My desolation is robbing me of opportunities. But in this county, at least, when seeking opportunities, its just woke judgmental shit. Im singing my songs I do, depicting images I want to depict, because I aint a part of Cult A or Cult B or whatever selective damned cult people will look back at and regret immensely if they go within and check themselves out, reassess their receptors, because I wanna do my own thing, its like, lets cut this fucker out. Cool, I'll remember it. deeply.
I'll just need about 50 cups of coffee it seems like.
I just paid to keep my website up again. I put a lot of really old stuff up on spotify. Have to connect the accounts to see what people even get for spotify but im sure its fractions of pennies. Feeling like sounds have changed a lot since then. Will upload even earlier stuff, too, buts its "reckless reclusion' and--- maybe Top Pop Classics of the Astral Realm' but I have to change some lyrics around.
Which means slitching back in and over writing a word or two.
I realized hectically and heavily that the whole "goddess" idea incorporated into a lot of songs, maybe 2009-2011, it was a big shclock. So I have to change some of those lyrics around, and forray more of a dialectic of internal integrity, because the universal misbalance, presently, of nature truth and material interpretation is at a wholly damaging point of people preaching "truths" they have uttered via misguidance. Even though the tattoos on their eyebrows stating it will be inducted forever.
I take care of animals lately. And plants. And those are fine feelings. There's a few people left really to hone into feeling like its all worth it and good things can still be plausible. Given to notice how much the press and media is just stomped down right now, however, finding celebration and inspiration would be vivid. But demoralization is, I think, a billion dollar industry, so if you see something you yourself could never dream up or produce, throw soup on it?
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