first a sardonic whiff:
I have to state it's sardonic because at times sometimes I feel some may read some of these silly put-ons which poke fun as media idol worship and think I am perhaps "off the cusp."
This new civilization seems as more uptight than any previous sort, despite the massive outright to information and data access.
Cellulite Areola and the Cosmic Muff perform the wondrously unstoppable music of such brainwashing chart toppers such as
"Netflix and chill, your attention span stuck on my window sill,"
and
"There is chemical poisoning in our trash food, it really puts me in the mood (To shop for needless shit!)"
amongst other sensational ballads.
But before that we tune in to a Lome Marsupial original unto which there are other copies of out there somewhere, but only this one can be located at the moment. It's entitled "Angel In An Animal" and regards the animals around us as a bit suspicious of what human entities might be doing in not making the full use of their frontal love potential.
Well anyway. Tonight's 11PM feels closer to 2 or even 3 AM already.
I am concocting my own teas and paying attention to my own fascinations with musical instrument adjustments which also teeter into an area of over-worrying about if I am doing the right thing when switching out old plastic guitar bridge pins with bone material ones. It seems I am always tinkering with those sorts of things nowadays but also I am finding that if anyone is going to do that, it's going to be me. as I had some things mangled before in the hands of others. If it is anything too serious in waters to tread then I might try to go to shops again. ----
Oh forget that!
I realize that was kind of a rant. I thought it was informative and some splayling piece of information but I contend unto my own output in seeing that it was some form of a rant.
Well I uploaded some old video and song called Transparent Limitations
here
which was from some thing called No World Order which I worked my butt off back then. Then a few years ago wasn't even so sure about and basically pulled its rug out from under itself deleting it and a few other releases.
But lately kind of grew to a peace with it again. And it was just some windows movie maker made project. using similar aspects of creating however I could much as I do today. mostly in echoes and no outsource of real feedback - which, again, I'm soley aware of. but pretending to be naive about all that sort of thing might lead for some headway. as to ask "why are you still even doing any of this at all?"
Well my soul feels happy when I craft and conduct and create. I could have turned political or stayed political and like made propaganda art selling out to the W.E.F. or something and several offshoots. Seen that happen for a few people but it like pushes hate and division (in the face and faculty of 'unity!') but deep down its under a contract where if you budge out or create the wrong way, or figure something out outside of the tight frame, then its funding-be-gone and so on.
and that No World Order thing was extremely political. Listening back to the sound samples of things regarding cheney and george w and all that going on at the time though. that dates a creation and really really dates a creation. Kind of like some of Ministry's albums, like Rio Grande Blood. some of the songs are amazing and really quite nice. but the political references kind of spews all onto living decades beyond.
Anyhow some of the songs really are just instrumentals or reaching and seeking and learning and trying for sound and writing.
even though I have no-- you know, people who go seeking out! my music or any of that, I think I listened back finally to some of the things back then and the feeling or expression was actually there in ways that were better in some cases than even some of the recent things. I have to be my own judge and critic also for stuff I do since others arent and don't so it's a tough balance game of interior and exterior. I don't know if I'm ostricized or what or the aims are too far out, sometimes if it sucks or is decent, or hits the mark and excels. But if the feeling of an intent is there, even if it wants to be naturey and soothing, atmospheric, or wild and eerie, all those things, I think there are some cases where success is found in that.
You can see or imagine the kind of purgatory one is placed in, then, you know, in worlds where people DO make things just for the sake of those things being some 'hit' or whatever. and stuff you know will just be some flavor that faded like there was 'crunk' music at one time. I think nu metal is kind of dated in that way, and so many other genres. Lots of what was on No World Order is likely similar, for the political "awareness" side of music. Something rustic or ---- I mean bands like Art of Noise, or Prodigy, you know.. that's electronic stuff, but it isnt 'dated,' and is replayable for generations to come. Just when something comes up and its more "lullaby-like" and rocky, and bluesy and eerie, or maybe pretty and simple--- that, lately, feels more real.
So thats why I just nixxed the hell out of some of those thing's I'd worked on.
Where is it all now for the reason of keeping-on with making things? You cant help but doing it anyway. My own town pretty much doesnt care if I fuck off or keep going on with it and I'm an antisocial type anyway but because I don't get like super chummy with them or whatever or sing the same mantras as them down to a tight 't' then, you can kind of gist to where I'm going with that.
I'm stuck doing my own thing, then, sort of 'forevermore, in all of those regards.
Im just rambling presently anyhow and needed a bit of a break from having that free time again to be editing. feeling satisfied having done that. Not in a huge rush to a headache of setting things up right now for noise creations. But feeling like doing some soundtrack type thing again and some gentle music and atmospheric calming kinds of things just in a between for song writing.
It clicked maybe 6 years ago or could that be 8, I don't know, but its that fables and that sort of thing in music really delivers to an inside matchmaking. Making people "awake!" and "aware" and "fighting the fight to wake!up!the!masses!" is really really wasted energy. You'd think I'm crass as hell for some of the statements I'd put forward about having to be kind of a self-starter for any awakening process and I'd spent far too many moments of my life caring more about helping others out when not even putting myself first and that stung and gouged me up and put me into places of years gone by and opportunities completely freaking burned right thing.
that doesnt make one come out of it cold or passionateless or compassionateless or anything. Just maybe a whole lot more guarded and calloused and well lived in certain faculties of anticipation and perception.
There's a certain kind of hypnotism that ebbs around the world and no sci fi horror or eerie feeling could really compare once you actually gist to seeing that and lock into the information of how deep that trance of "the current thing! and following it!" really is. It's also like trying to shove your head into a bee hive.
Alas though. Why the fuck do I say alas!? well it seems fitting... but alas, with all of that, at least Im still doing what I wish to for whatever expression. Im not bound to talking point or this or that. Though after the last handful of years am sort of scooping myself out from some vast and engulfing kind of demoralization offset that apparently shook the world and myself included into a freaking lull.
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