Trauma is really fucking stupid

 https://www.patreon.com/lomemarsupial

All I can really relate to lately are guitars.
Is this where I plug the patreon link above?
I had posted some writings and b-sides,
some videos, I think, and "audio blogs" onto there.
Now my phone which I recorded them onto is bloated full,
and that's a thing.
Anyway I can't sleep for shit.
I played like  5 or 6 original improvised songs at that
Open mic earlier and they were a mixture between shloggy
and pristine.  
It's important to me for whatever reason to let certain music
or song approaches "Live as Journals" which means you just
Play through them, make them, maybe keep them or just let them
live ones and breathe then carry on through the neuro echoes of
human and life particle existence.

Cant you figure how easily such conceptual ways of living marries
into real, typical, exactified, quantitative life? 
Yeah it feels dismal trying to fulfill human-kind(e) expectations
realizing that, too. Also it is very popular to hate Europeans this
day! Life was tough enough, motherfuckers.
But, ok, bring it on!

It's making me religious or spiritual or extra-sensory even more so,
I suppose.. these pursuits, all of these challenges.
Every time I look at the modern human world though and all the
rides you're supposed to ride on with everyone else which look like
very! un fun rides, then, however it is I can survive in my own little way,
doing my own expressions just how I want to do them, very much! not wanting
to have that "other stuff" influence or get in the way.. you know, that other stuff
of all these people freaking out over every thing constantly always just at each
others necks acting like crazzzzy sonsabitches.
I'm not your
judgement
I'm not your
projection
I'm not your
allibi
I'm not your
past incarnation
I'm not your
scapegoat
no matter how hard you try,
and energetically battle and all that shit.

My purpose is different and it seems so many people hate you
for living a different purpose or so many people try to wretch it up,
or fuck it up, or destroy your dreams if you are close to your own.