Wadded Up Wrigleys Reveals The Answers Of Life

This draft was drafted to the drafty drapes of ill-mannered meanderings and thus only remains in this skeletal form:

I had the long awaited answers to human kinds questions. It manifested through a wadded up old piece of wrigley's gum when I was wiping down old tables in a warehouse that this old couple from Vermont were emptying out. If you seek the revelations of how a wadded up piece of gum formulated the answers of mankind, you'll have to ask somebody else! I guess that will result to be one of mankind's unanswered questions after all questions are revealed.. albeit is it worthy of scratching after the "Why are we here's?" and "What is the face of god and may I poke it?" questions are revealed.

Each answer was written down on a bounty paper napkin. It was written with a felt tipped blue sharpie, so the transcription came out slightly blurred with fattened lettering, though this did not stunt any ability of perception.

I had continued to clean..You may ask why somebody holding the long awaited reasons for existence would continue to go about working a chore.. Well, the place was so dirty that it HAD to be further cleaned to find even a glimpse of a doorway.

I lost the note...

Why this information would be cast out to somebody so careless is beyond myself... Damnit, now there are TWO mysteries tabbed unto curiosity after our -Hows- and -Whys- would have been revealed... The 'how the hell does an ancient piece of wrigleys gum communicate sacred mysteries?', and 'how the hell did THIS guy get the responsibility of obtaining such wisdom?' When all is revealed, stances upon these answers will form strict interpretations over this boiling set of questions.

Though I still had maintained memory of many sacred answers, I later had found the napkin and had been accompanied by a joyous self-celebration. It was hidden under a dust pan in a very descriptive area with many adjectives to be had.

I decided to rip this sacred answer up into millions of pieces and throw it down an outhouse hole. I figured that the circumstance that just any mere man or woman could be found to obtain the answers of life is just unacceptable. To think that random, ludicrous displays of interpretation could present a series of new thought or that anybody not on the A-list could access a self-found answer was absurdity to the highest degree. People have worked very hard to make it out that a high and mighty source of self-sacrifice and in-fighting remained the ever-so-close constant peak of answer. Something witty happened and then a flying duck crashed into a mill house but nobody noticed.

That old couple from Vermont were happy to have found their warehouse organized and in order which proceeded to be wiped way the next morning by an unexpected tornado. Blogs were blogged and babies were babied and somehow reason found itself to be anything as varied from a piece of old gum underneath a decade old table to the mere possibility that some half-witted traveling table cleaner could spark long-lost answers in a world where gas prices continue to evoke emotional opinion.