no, its like living in hell being around such ass-backwards people. They rely so heavily on needing to be accepted or having their ego and identity polished that it doesn't matter if they ever hone into honoring or being truthful about all the merit they bark about and scream about and relentlessly coat themselves in. You find out who the gatekeepers are and they are so protective against anything that even slightly challenges their facade of all the identity-decor. They're fragile and enamored by how they look but can't challenge their own thinking of "reality tunnel." A reality tunnel is a fixed perspective. Like recognizing a universe amidst a vastness of multiverses.
But if you have soul fire and a will to integrity then it doesn't matter how many paper tigers or gatekeepers there are, because you can always survive things by your own instinct of accomplishment and intuition. Things that they always beg to need others to pursue alongside them. So they are reliant. In many cases. On others to coax their identity while remaining tightly stifled into that singular reality tunnel or cultish viewpoint.
I'd been "dismayed" or held culprit by gatekeepers or clique-guardians so many several times. But the thing is to never entertain them or to see approval or any of that. It's not worth it because your integrity culls if you begin to do that.
So let them guess or whatever or find other food to eat.
You don't want to be their food. because it is a feast that never satiates or a hunger that never lessens.
So they'll, you know, turn on their tvs or whatever or fill their heads with online feeds and keep at anything but stillness or self-insight.
They're boring as fuck and cruel at heart, despite what they might advertise.
I like it, because it reminds me I'm not them.
They need all their bullshit, like being bad at the services that they are paid to tend to, you know--- being bad at it at on purpose to get even with those they do not like or want to grok or understand, because they are afraid that they may have to learn something about themselves in the long run, or change something about themselves when dealing with real passion or real heart or true soul-fire.
so they screw things up on purpose and try to dismantle other peoples opportunities or even services they purchase or experience they can "deconstruct" or sabotage even though it will never work against a true and dedicated soul who sees what they really want and can, unlike them, work without a clique or in-group collective to have to constantly lean or gather as a lethargic and sort of hypnotized mass-movement. Eventually their force weights down and breaks upon itself.
And you can continue on with your passion or whatever and be glad you didn't have their assistance, because they turned out to be snakes and usurpers and some of the slimiest of the slime and so on.
But yes that's the power or force they go with, is, basically using whatever service they are representing and screwing things up for other people if you so happen to be held to interacting with what they do. They'll make things complicated or try to frustrate and heave in on your pathway.
And eventually you just deal with somebody else or wait, until you can commentate on their intentional sabatoge or gaslighting and gatekeeping and all of that.
And you follow your directive and will and strength you gain.
To survive what they couldn't. Or continue past where they would have given up so many times.
because they need other people, and they need acceptance constantly and always. And would never be able to push through or pursue where you had to stave and pursue.
And all the stronger you know yourself after already knowing and then discarding the falsities that they wrap themselves within, and knowing your own truths and better built foundations within.
That's how I am, having, you know, really been alienated or thinking to have trusted certain people who haven't gone the extra miles to even face shadows that would spook and terrify and destroy them. And they talk the game but haven't walked shit about it. and I live better every day not needing any of them at all. Because I trust the quality of those being able to make and to creative and to have a quality of construction. Something formative as compared to their envy and clique-reliance and destructive nature. Because you are supposed to grow up at some point and at some time, and nurture where the amygdala is. But they are truly just bullies or a kind of self-destruction specialty. Using up old resources of being some of the most sour people on the inside and making no steps to renaissance revival or shedding away old skins or detoxing from really very evil and imbalanced ways, all disguised underneath their absolutely abysmal buzzwords and common "current thing" numbness of lethargy.
It is a hypnotism and you do not want to cater to or interact with or to ever need acceptance or approval of the hypnotized.
But I have seen them and they are gatekeepers, and they are trendy. And if you cannot be "labelled" or understood on a materialistic, brand name kind of level, then you are "unknown information" to them and thus a problem they do not want to deal with. Because their lazy minds see it as something that challenges their limited or lazy or ungrowing worldview.
I survived without needing them and am aware of their ever collective horde. They ain't what they say they is, and what they's sez is loads of trod.
All that passion and fire within, then, of realizing what could be if there were legitimate support systems of soulfulness, well, it gets redirected. It's redirected to within. So all the clowns out there or whatever with ill intent or who can only destroy, or try to mess things up for others, they're pictured nd figured for what they are. And then they have no energetic power. So those vampires or succubi or those enticers and word hypnotists, and all those cliques with their little rulesets and stifles--- they're just cardboard in the rain and it's okay.
Because you're stronger now having survived their imbalanced or emotional impulses.
And now you see through them as transparent as anything in the world, and they don't fool you anymore and you don't want to play on their board or count by their little cliques or collective or ruleset. Because they even lose the game they set up to make. Which is like: get attention, have a loud cause, download media-congruent opinions and obedience maps, pretend to be rebellious or radical or this or that--- it's all a front and another social group stimuli.
Then I respect class and style, and silence, and prose, and most importantly of all, the daring and whimsical and raw.
The soul prevails
The aura is guarded
The mind is nourished with ideas and gold
the willpower and strength is uncontended
The law of an inner warrior walks past the vile
a renaissance of mind forms to a golden degree
free from vulgarity and impoverished lacking
All that is available now is what is urgent and wealthy to succeed and electrify
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